RECAPS: Respect and Kindness Lunch and Learns

June 25: Supporting Colleagues and Cancer  

By Kaley Johnson

The final Respect and Kindness Lunch and Learn focused on cancer survivors, caretakers of people with cancer, and how to best support coworkers with a cancer diagnosis. Many on the call shared their personal experience and what helped or did not help them after they were diagnosed with cancer. Kathy McLean, Vice President of Brand and Experience, led the discussion and shared her own story of surviving breast cancer.

Some cancer survivors said it was difficult to ask for help or know what they needed; to help others, the group put together several lists on how best to support coworkers diagnosed with cancer or people who are caring for someone with cancer.

To help others understand what it's like to have cancer, Kathy read aloud a written piece by Caitlin Feeley called “What it’s Really Like to Receive a Cancer Diagnosis.”

Supporting someone with cancer:

-       Listen and allow them to share their feelings openly. Don’t make the conversation about you or your feelings.

-       Offer to help with everyday tasks such as house cleaning, laundry, lawn care, car maintenance, walking dogs or caring for pets and cleaning out the refrigerator. It might help to offer to do those tasks specifically instead of asking “how can I help?” The person might already feel overwhelmed; offering to do a specific task may be less overwhelming.

-       Don’t always give food: many people shared that going through chemotherapy makes eating difficult and food isn’t always the best gift.

-       Just show up: watch a movie, play cards, hang out and listen. Don’t talk about cancer if the other person doesn’t want to.

-       Treat the person as you normally would: someone with cancer may already feel like their life is abnormal. “Any sense of normalcy helps you concentrate on something other than cancer,” Kathy said. “It’s also nice to know people think of you the same way they always have.”

-       If the person is open to it, send scarves and hats. Hair loss can feel like an awkward topic, but sometimes it’s more awkward to not acknowledge it, some people on the call said.

-       Thoughtful gifts help; one woman said her leadership team would come up with a cute gift for every chemo treatment she had, which meant a lot.

How leaders and managers can help:

-       Make sure the person knows their health is the priority. One woman shared that her boss told her if she ever had to choose between a doctor’s appointment and a meeting, her medical needs should always come first.

-       If you have permission, share updates with the team so the person doesn’t have to tell each person individually.

-       Give the person permission to feel; let them know they are safe to have whatever feelings they have about their diagnosis.

-       Sit down with the person and prioritize their workload with them. Help them feel comfortable letting you or others assist with their workload.

-       Create a relaxation room or space if possible.

How to support caretakers:

-       Make sure the person knows their loved one’s health comes first. Be understanding of time off needed for medical appointments and caretaker tasks.

-       Help with tasks around house if needed.

-       Give them a gift card for a massage or other self-care to help them take time for themselves.

What NOT to say or do to someone with cancer:

-       “It’s only hair.”

-       “I know how you feel” (unless you really do know).

-       Any statement beginning with “at least” such as “at least they caught it early”.

-       “Just cut “em off, you don’t need ‘em” in response to a breast cancer diagnosis.

-       “Everything happens for a reason”.

-       “I don’t know how you’re going through this without being married”.

-       “You’re gonna be fine” or “It's going to be okay”.

-       Second guess the treatment plan or offer other treatments.

-       Suggesting “natural” or “alternative” treatments.

-       Talking about someone else who died of the same cancer.

-       Talking about how bad chemo, surgery or radiation was for your friend or other loved one.

Other resources for people with cancer or who have a loved one with cancer:

-       Joan Katz Cancer Resource Center at Baylor Scott and White: a free resource that helps cancer patients prepare for treatment and determine questions to ask doctors , and offers a nurse navigator to help navigate care.

-       Bright Horizons: An employee benefit that provides respite care for cancer patients under the direct care of Cook Children’s employees. Program offers up to 10 uses of services per year for a child or adult/relative.

-       ACS Caregivers & Family resources

-       Care ATC offers, another Cook Children's benefit. It offers confidential mental health counseling at its center on Henderson Street in Fort Worth.

-       Cancer Care Services provides therapy for free for entire family. They also have many other resources for patients and families.

June 19: Black Organization for Leadership and Development

By Kaley Johnson

On Juneteenth 2024, the Black Organization for Leadership and Development (BOLD+) Employee Resource Group hosted a Respect & Kindness Lunch and Learn session over Zoom. Participants discussed how perceptions and biases put people into boxes and how to overcome those limiting perspectives.

Brian Bergeron, Director of Environment Services and Food Services, led the conversation about how our preconceived notions about one another taint our interactions.

Much of the session was dedicated to meaningful conversation as a group and in small break-out rooms. People shared how others place them into boxes based on race, gender, age, appearance and other characteristics. Going further, staff talked about how those perceptions impact them. Some talked about how coworkers have assumed they are shy and quiet; others said they are perceived as louder than they are. One person shared they were recently thought of as “angry” when they were simply being straightforward and wondered if her race had anything to do with the label. These kinds of generalizations create barriers between people, which limits our collaboration, understanding and strengths as a workplace.

Near the end of the call, people shared their conversations from their small groups. Some focused on the importance of seeking common ground while respecting people’s differences. Others talked about how it can be difficult to know how vulnerable to be with someone about your own experiences until you know if they are bringing misconceptions into the conversation.

Some ways to overcome your own biases are:

• Don’t put people in boxes
• Educate yourself on a variety of topics, cultures and issues
• Communicate genuinely
• Analyze your own assumptions and question your preconceived notions
• Get to know people rather than rely on your biases

June 11: Women in the Workplace

By Kaley Johnson

In Lunch and Learn session six of eight, about 100 participants discussed respect and kindness with a focus on women in the workplace. 

Laura Van Hoosier, MS, APR, AVP of Public Relations and Corporate Communications and Jessamy Brown, MA, APR, Corporate Communications Manager, led Tuesday’s presentation. 

Participants in the webinar shared their personal experiences of times they felt supported, respected and encouraged at Cook Children’s -- as well as times when they did not. The group talked about struggles that impact their professional life, including imposter syndrome and difficulty saying no. Research shows that women face those challenges more frequently than their non-female colleagues. The group also discussed skills they have learned in order to overcome those challenges and how they can help others do the same. 

Some of those included: 

• Set firm boundaries.
• Celebrate your accomplishments to help overcome self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
• Encourage others in the workplace and celebrate their work.
• Take time to connect on a personal level, such as going to lunch with colleagues.
• Listen intentionally to fellow female coworkers.
• Find mentors and sponsors to provide mentorship, advice and support.

Other advice was more personalized. One woman said the book Meditations by Marcus Aurelius helped her become more balanced and self-assured. Another called out specific leaders at Cook Children's who inspired them through their championing of women in the workplace. Others recommend a class on ULearn called Personality Puzzle: How We Connect with Each Other, which helps employees explore how personality influences our energy, information gathering, communication style, decision making, and overall approach to life.

Managers and leaders can help facilitate respect and confidence in the workplace by creating an environment where employees feel safe to share honest feedback. Men in leadership positions can educate themselves about issues in the workplace that disproportionately impact women. 

Many people at the webinar also shared resources to help women create a support system among coworkers. Some of those included: 

• Attending employee events 
• Joining industry associations and organizations and professional organizations such as Toastmasters
• Connecting with others via LinkedIn 
  
   

June 4: PRIDE+ (LGBTQ+) Employee Resource Group

By Kaley Johnson

On Tuesday, Cook Children’s staff attended a Lunch and Learn session that focused on respect and kindness regarding LGBTQ+ groups. The PRIDE+ ERG led the discussion about Pride Month, the importance of education and what it means to be a good ally. 

On a video and during the webinar, staff across Cook Children’s talked about their experiences either as part of the LGBTQ+ community or as an ally. 

Being an ally means providing support to a group, especially one that is marginalized. One slide of the presentation defined allyship through an acronym: 

• Always center the people impacted 
• Listen and learn from those of the dimension 
• Leverage your privilege 
• Yield the floor 
   

In the workplace, allies can show up for their LGTBQ+ colleagues in a number of ways. One person talked about the importance of creating a space where LGTBQ+ people can share their personal experiences without judgment. Sometimes, simply listening can be the most powerful gift you can offer someone. For some people, this may mean respecting someone’s experience and choices, even if you do not understand or agree with them. 

Employees talked about the significance of educating oneself if there are questions you have about the LGTBQ+ community. A little bit of research can help minimize misunderstandings and forge more genuine connections. This in turn creates a more inclusive, healthier workplace for everyone. 

Privilege was another focus of Tuesday’s webinar. Privilege can be a confusing concept -- essentially, privilege means benefits afforded to certain populations. For example, straight people have the privilege of being able to be publicly affectionate with their significant other, while people in queer relationships might worry about how people will react in public if they hold their partner’s hand. 

Finally, understanding the advantages you have that LGTBQ+ people do not can help you be a stronger ally and more compassionate coworker. 

Jacob Hall, PharmD., Clinical Pharmacist, is a Co-Chair of the LGTBQ+ ERG and led Tuesday’s discussion. Tara K. Drake, MSN, RN, RN Manager at Cook Children’s Physician Network Clinical Operations, is an ERG Co- Chair. 
 

• Visit the PRIDE+ ERG page on New CookNet for Pride Month 2024 events and a special video of PRIDE+ ERG members, who spoke about what Pride Month means to them and how colleagues can be good allies.
• In addition, here is information about a class available on ULearn to all employees: Advancing Effective Communication & Patient-Centered Care for our LGBTQI+ Patients and Families. Participants gain foundational knowledge to understand general Inclusion, Diversity and Health Equity concepts involving the LGBTQ+ community and learn the importance of communicating effectively and compassionately with our patients, families, and staff who identify as LGBTQ+.
• Have a question? Want to get connected? Send the leaders an email to: PRIDE@cookchildrens.org

May 28: Young Professionals

By Kaley Johnson

As part of the ongoing Lunch and Learn series on respect and kindness, a group of Cook Children’s staffers led a discussion focused on young professionals. 

Adam Press, an Administrative Resident in the System Planning Department, Helen Sweeney, a Nurse Manager, Tara Bradshaw, Director of Retail and Administrative Projects, and Alex Rodriguez, Administrative Resident, fostered conversation during the hour-long presentation. 

Participants shared examples of kindness and respect they have experienced at Cook Children’s that helped them grow professionally. Many young people said leaders in their department took the time to answer questions about navigating the website, medical terminology and what each department does. Others said it meant a lot when coworkers took them out to lunch and made time for one-on-one conversations when they were new on the job. 

Feeling included in the team helps young professionals feel confident and build a solid foundation for their career at Cook Children’s. That’s especially important, Alex said, because many young professionals experience “imposter syndrome.” One of the primary ways to help young professionals overcome those doubts and flourish at work is through mentorship. More experienced staff can be a safe place for new people to ask questions and learn from mistakes. 

One person said compared to other places they have worked, Cook Children’s has “raised the bar about how I expect to be treated in the workplace.” But there is always room for improvement; another person in their department said they were treated disrespectfully because of their age and needed to speak up about how they were being treated. 

Finally, a mutually respectful environment benefits everyone by creating a stronger team and, therefore, a more cohesive space for quality patient care. 
 

May 21: Employees over 40

By Kaley Johnson

The third week of Lunch and Learn sessions focusing on Respect and Kindness focused on professionals over the age of 40. Jeff Calaway, Director of Internal Communications, led the hour-long presentation.

Participants discussed their own challenges and experiences related to age in the workplace. As part of the conversation, Jeff and other staff shared resources about planning for retirement and financial security -- including Fidelity courses and Cook Children’s Medicare Choice Group for people over 65. Cook Children’s University also offers courses on various topics. To check them out, go to your ULearn dashboard, scroll down to the list of topics and click on the box that indicates the course list.

In terms of workplace respect and kindness, many people over the age of 40 discussed feeling that their younger counterparts at times make assumptions about them based on their age. Some people pointed out that younger people might assume older staff don’t know as much about technology. Others talked about the challenges of being a “sandwich generation,” in which they are simultaneously taking care of older parents and kids or grandkids. Those responsibilities can be financially and emotionally difficult.

Jeff also encouraged everyone to be curious, open and intentional about building relationships across generations.

“Don’t be afraid to ask questions,” he said. “Many younger colleagues are eager to share their tech-savviness, and you might be surprised at how much you can learn from them. In turn, offer your experience and knowledge with patience and kindness.”

Sometimes bridging the gap between generations can feel difficult, but working together makes us stronger as a whole. Staff talked about their relationships with younger people in the workplace; several people noted that collaboration between generations creates a partnership between fresh ideas and deeper institutional knowledge.

We are at our best when we’re treating everyone with respect Here are some other tips to be as generous as we can to one another, no matter how many years separate us:

• Listen: the more you listen, the more you understand
• Find what we have in common
• Be curious about others’ opinions
• Be aware of differences in communication styles
• Stay curious instead of assuming
• Remember that empathy + action = compassion.

May 14: Veterans+ Employee Resource Group

By Kaley Johnson

On Tuesday, March 14, Cook Children’s Veterans Group hosted the second Lunch and Learn in the Respect and Kindness series. Attendees talked about misconceptions about veterans, challenges veterans face in the workplace, and how others can provide support.

Jeremy Jameson, Alisa Quimby, Sheila Guinn, and other veterans broke down some of those perceptions and educated non-veterans on various topics. For example, people serving in the military are diverse; the military is not a monolith with one type of political group, ethnicity or personality.

“Being a veteran is just one part of who I am as a person,” one veteran said during the discussion.

The veterans in the group talked about how coworkers can be respectful. Some of the tips they suggested were:

●     Welcome veterans in the workplace without treating them differently

●     Be respectful of whether or not a veteran wants to talk about their time in the military

●     Be aware that some veterans transitioning out of the military might still be learning about civilian life, such as how health insurance coverage works or different habits and expectations at work.

Another veteran shared that he had a hard time at first with the more flexible schedule outside of the military. Meetings starting late due to employees talking about their personal lives or not showing up on time was difficult to get used to, he said.

Overall, the Veterans+ group recommended that everyone follow Cook Children’s mission in compassion and kindness. 

May 7: L.E.A.D.S. Employee Resource Group

By Kaley Johnson

The L.E.A.D.S. (Latinos Engaging, Advancing, Developing & Supporting) Employee Resource Group hosted the first in series of virtual Lunch and Learn programs focused on the importance of respect and kindness in Hispanic Latino culture and its significance in everyday interactions. More than 60 Cook Children’s staff members joined the discussion, which was led over Zoom by Lisa Padilla, Erica Espinoza, Jessica Ruiz Balderrama, Michelle Espinosa, Abby Hanish and Javier Canetti. 

Over an hour, those on Tuesday’s call discussed what respect, kindness and allyship mean to them and how they can better practice those at work. Answers varied from the basic, everyday acts we can do for one another -- like opening the door or genuinely asking how someone is doing -- to more in-depth efforts, such as the balance of showing one’s authentic self at work while also adhering to a professional environment. 

Kindness, for example, can look like empowering, supporting and advocating for Hispanic and Latino employees. This advocacy creates a stronger organization so that we can be there for our community and patients. To practice kindness, try welcoming those who are different from you, show genuine caring for one another, and exercise the act of acknowledging everyone around us.

Respect can mean many things, but Erica and Michelle discussed how specifically respect can be shown for those in Latino and Hispanic communities. For example, you can show respect by considering how differences in culture can impact what they think, do and interact with coworkers, and being nonjudgmental about those differences.

Allyship is the commitment to learning and taking action to create more equitable and inclusive experiences and workplaces. In practice, allyship is active; it's what we can do for one another, specifically for those in minority or marginalized groups. 

Participants contributed their own examples of allyship, such as ingraining oneself in a marginalized group in a meaningful way, listening without judgment to members of a community and helping to dissolve negative stereotypes.